Marriage is a beautiful union between two individuals who are committed to sharing their lives together. It is a journey that requires effort, patience, and understanding. While many couples seek guidance from professionals or attend premarital counselling, there is also the option of self-guided marriage preparation.
Previously, we provided a Marriage Preparation Guide when working with a Professional. In this article, we will explore the benefits and tips for self-help marriage preparation.
In this article, we share:
- Importance of marriage preparation
- Online assessments and quizzes
- Self-help games and conversation starters
- Tips for self-guided marriage preparation
Importance of Marriage Preparation
We emphasize again the importance of preparing for marriage; it can be the most important step in your wedding planning journey.
Self-guided marriage preparation allows you to take charge of your own journey and actively participate in the process. It provides an opportunity for you to deepen your understanding of each other, enhance your communication skills, and address potential challenges before they arise. By investing time and effort into self-guided preparation, you can build a strong foundation for your marriage and increase the chances of a successful and lasting union.
Below are some activities that serve the purpose of helping you engage with your partner in an honest and candid manner while enabling a deeper exploration of each other.
Online assessments and quizzes
The Relationship Evaluation Questionnaire (RELATE) is specifically designed to help guide couples to have meaningful discussions about criteria proven to affect relationship satisfaction. It is designed to help you and your partner have meaningful discussions about criteria proven to affect relational satisfaction while identifying both common ground and trouble spots in the relationship.
As an online customised assessment tool, Couple Checkup is meant to be a fun, easy way to take a closer look at your relationship, increase relationship strengths, and above all – spark meaningful conversation between you and your partner. Couple Checkup is part of the PREPARE/ENRICH assessment tool mentioned in the Marriage Preparation Guide when working with a Professional (LINK).
Gottman Relationship Quiz
Website: Gottman Connect
After doing extensive research for over four decades with thousands of couples, Gottman has found that one of the most important components of a successful relationship is the quality of friendship between partners. And that requires knowing your partner’s likes, dislikes, needs, desires, beliefs, fears, and life dreams. This relationship quiz is all about how well you know your partner.
Self-help games and conversation starters
Games and conversation starters are great ways to get the ball rolling and make the process fun and enjoyable! Here are some of them:
We’re Not Really Strangers
Tips for self-guided marriage preparation
Games and online quizzes aside, we strongly recommend delving into these fundamental points below. They serve as an initial framework for establishing a shared understanding of what you both aspire to achieve in your marriage.
- Open and honest communication: Communication is the key to a successful marriage. During the self-guided preparation phase, make it a priority to have open and honest conversations with your partner. Discuss your expectations, fears, and dreams for the future. Be willing to listen and understand your partner’s perspective without judgment. Effective communication will foster trust and strengthen your bond.
- Conflict resolution: Every relationship experiences conflicts, and it is crucial to develop healthy ways of resolving them. Use the self-guided preparation period to learn conflict resolution techniques such as active listening, compromise, and finding win-win solutions. Practice these skills in everyday situations, and they will become a natural part of your marriage.
- Nurture your friendship: A thriving marriage hinges on a firm base of friendship and emotional connection. Make it a priority to spend quality time together, engaging in shared interests and activities that strengthen your bond. Support each other’s personal growth and celebrate each other’s achievements. Create rituals and traditions that are unique to your relationship. These can serve as reminders of your love and commitment to each other. Remember to show appreciation and express gratitude for each other. By nurturing your friendship, you build a solid foundation for a long-lasting and fulfilling marriage.
- Building emotional and physical intimacy: Emotional intimacy serves as the bedrock of a resilient and satisfying marriage. Discuss how you can deepen your emotional connection and create a safe space for vulnerability and openness. By nurturing emotional intimacy, you can strengthen your bond and create a loving and supportive partnership. In addition, keep the flame alive by engaging in acts of love and affection. Prioritize quality time together, plan date nights, surprise each other with thoughtful gestures, and express your love and appreciation regularly.
- Financial Planning: Money matters can often become a source of conflict in a marriage. Take the time to discuss your financial goals, create a budget, and develop a plan for joint finances. Consider seeking financial guidance or resources to ensure you start your marriage with a solid financial foundation.
Self-guided marriage preparation can be a rewarding and empowering experience for couples. By taking ownership of your journey and actively working on your relationship, you can build a strong and lasting union. Remember, marriage is a continuous learning process, and pre-marital preparation is just the beginning. Embrace the challenges and joys that come with marriage, and always strive to grow together as a couple.
Check out the Marriage Preparation Guide when working with a Professional to explore courses and workshops available!